secrets feel like… April 25, 2008

I’m working on a short story with a character who is dealing with the emotional pain of keeping secrets, her own and those told to her in confidence. I was really trying to capture the anguish while maintaing a sense of silence, and this is what I finally went with: 

“Madeline tried to look blankly into his eyes. She clenched her lips together and drew them in tight, until the pink pout seemed to disappear from her porcelain face. The secrets inside her felt like a swarm of bees trapped in her mouth. Stingers pricked her cheeks, but she couldn’t part her lips in fear that they would escape, stinging him. Her tongue began to swell, she always knew she was allergic to secrets.”

 

How would you describe what it feels like to keep secrets?